A Grace-clinger Observes Lent

I read a blog recently where the author referred to herself as a grace-clinger.  I like that.  Grace. My only hope in my brokenness.  My only help for my inadequacies. Grace. God loving me when I deserve otherwise. Grace. God’s mercy singing its melody over my confusion and heartache and sin. I love grace – the sound of it, and the reality of it.  I too would call myself a grace-clinger and yet in recent weeks I sense that my life is somewhat out-of-balance.  I'm not sure you can ever err too much on the side of grace when it comes to giving it to others.  But I know I can err too much on dishing it out to myself.  I use it as an excuse to be something less than I should be.  I use it as justification for not doing something I really should do.  The Grace-giver is beckoning me to bring balance back into my habits through purposeful self-discipline and all the while, to keep clinging to grace.  Enter Lent. 

Lent is a rather foreign observance to me. Sad but true. I didn’t grow up observing Ash Wednesday nor the season of Lent.  I've never understood much about either.  In fact, I’ve never given liturgy a lot of thought at all. But the Father gently led me to consider the intention of Lent; to help Christ followers prepare to celebrate Resurrection Sunday, and beyond, with total abandon.  I wonder why we never did that?  Never observed Lent that is, in my home nor in the churches where I learned about following Jesus. Hmmm.  Wikipedia explains it this way; “Lent in the Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year from Ash Wednesday to Easter.  The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer – through prayer, repentance, alms-giving and self-denial – for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.”  I’m far from a traditionalist but I like that purpose. As a lover and follower of Jesus, to avail myself to anything that holds promise of preparing my heart to more fully celebrate His resurrection, and life, is good. 

Enter Lent 2011.  I’m observing Lent for the first time in my life, rather privately. Doing much of anything privately is a bit atypical for me. Observing Lent is way out of the norm. (Well, maybe I'm not observing it so privately now that I’m posting about it on my blog.  Smile.)  Somehow, much of this first go-around with Lent feels too intimate to share, let alone post about.  The prayers, the repentance and the giving to the poor feels sacred and I find myself being reserved about sharing it.  Odd.  At least for me.  But the self-denial part, now that doesn't seem quite so intimate. I'll tell you what I have given up for Lent.  Although I'm not convinced it really falls into the category of self denial ... maybe more like generic self-control. Anyway, those who  observe Lent won't be surprised, it's a popular one. I’ve given up sugar.  Not just DQ Peanut Buster Parfaits, homemade apple pie, chocolate chip cookies or dessert when dining out.  Sugar in general. Almost completely.

Abstaining from sugar during Lent has an intended purpose for me personally - my desperate need for a lifestyle change.  My decision came after the Holy Spirit was nearly pleading with me to dig a little deeper than dieting and to move beyond what I prefer to call my "mild sugar addiction."  Is any addiction mild.  Seriously?  Mild is a word of justification.  Anyway, back to Lent ... so far, a few physiological changes are noticeable, all good once I got past a few days with a dull headache. I think my body begged in tandem with the Father for the changes I’m experiencing.  My greater need by far however, is spiritual in nature.  An urgency to return to some basic spiritual disciplines.  That urgency is at the root of my soul need but was manifest in my sugar addiction. (Just a mild one though.  Smile.)  Lent is leading the way back  ... To prayer ... talking and listening to God.  To personal Bible study ... letting the Word of God renew my mind.  To meditation on the words of God ... time set aside daily to let Truth penetrate the fabric of my being.  To fasting ...  sitting still in the presence of the Father ... freeing up space for Jesus ... letting the Holy Spirit fill my soul hunger.

Lent.  Forty days set-aside for soul cleansing and more aggressive grace-clinging. I like that.