Sunday, August 14, 2011

Fighting the GOOD Fight

I have a habit before I roll out of bed each day and head for my morning cup of coffee. A habit that serves me well and sets my heart and mind on what matters most as I face the demands of each day. It's the very first thing I do.  I do it before I put my feet on the floor or mentally process what's on my plate for the day.  It comes before coffee, a shower or my morning email check. It's one of the most treasured moments of my every day: listening to the Voice of Truth.

This morning was different.  I woke in a state of prayer, the talking side of the heavenly dialogue. I was working my way through reminding God about the needs of person-after-person-after-hurting-person who are facing insurmountable challenges.  Some of the specifics had me awake  throughout the night of a rather fitful sleep.  My running at the mouth morning prayer was an attempt to leave these dear ones in God's care in hopes I could get on with the fullness of the day I faced.  As I prayed a knot in my stomach grew. I contemplated the heartache some are currently facing ....

... a young single mom with unexplainable seizures that are more frequent instead of less as she lays in ICU, her family heartsick as they wait and pray for answers ...  the grieving family and friends of a local pastor who just passed from this life into eternity, a man whose presence on earth will be missed beyond description ... a couple who is separated and desperately trying to make some sense out of the place they find their once love-filled marriage ... my husband facing a new school year without his teaching partner of the last 14 years, his sense of loss and profound sadness ... the two young boys of my husband's teaching partner as they face the school year without the security and love of their mom  ... a pregnant mother with multiple health issues that keep her from sleeping day or night as she finds herself so physically depleted she can hardly function ... a family with five children, including a new born baby, who just lost their home and their van after months of the dad searching for a job but coming up short ... my sister planning a fundraiser to help with the medical bills that stack up like dust while she prepares for a heart transplant .... another friend facing the near-to-certain need for a liver transplant .... Andy's coach and his wife as they worry about the unanswered questions over all of the developmental and physical delays of their dear little one-year old baby girl .... my precious mother lying in the same bed, in the same room day-after-day-after-long-day with a palatable desire to die so she can go to heaven and be with Jesus ... a couple heartsick over their adult daughter's divorce, to embrace her gay lifestyle and lover ... others grieving loss after death, divorce, a move, cut-backs at work, a broken relationship ... and on and on it goes.

As my prayer list grew so did the knot in my stomach, as did a sense of dread and being overwhelmed.  Both began to settle on me like a wet and heavy blanket. At that moment, the Voice of Truth interrupted my thoughts and prayers ...

"You're fighting the good fight, Sherilyn.  Tthe good fight of faith."

As I meditated on that truth, the knot began to shrink and peace replaced the dread.  The good fight ... the good fight of faith ... that truth adjusted my perspective.  That is a fight worth fighting! We are all in a fight of some kind every day. We fight traffic when we're late, the clock to beat a deadline, the bank account being low and the needs being high, the demands at home versus those at the office, and more.  Beyond those more trivial things we often fight each other along with our sick or injured bodies, and others that are bigger yet.  We are all in a fight of some kind or another most of the time.  Few are worth our time, energy or money.  Some are unavoidable. The fights in life are part of why we go on vacation ... they are why we love to go to places like Disney World, a beach front house or plan a camping trip ... to escape the fight of daily life or to seek reprieve from the fight of a much greater magnitude.  And yet, there is a good fight. The fight of faith. 

FAITH is "perceiving as real fact 
what is not revealed to the senses." *

The good fight of faith is a fight we must choose regardless of the cry of our senses.  It's a demanding cry.  A relentless cry.  It's a cry that reasons, "If I can't see or feel it then it's not going to be."  Faith reasons, "I may not see or feel it but it's going to be!"  Faith comes by hearing the Voice of Truth.

Faith most often leads to a battlefield. No one is ever pushed onto the battlefield of faith.  Not even by God. One has to step into the fight of faith. It's a good fight.  Worth the long exhausting days that feel like war. Worth the unceasing threat of the enemy.  Worth the sacrifice of time praying for, serving or loving another.  Against all odds.  Faith is worth the battle wounds.  The fight of faith promises sure victory.  The fight of life promises nothing.

* Taken from Hebrews 11:1 in the Amplified Bible. The "good fight of faith" is taken from I Timothy 1:18 and 6:12; II Timothy 4:7.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Passing the Test

The last week has been a test.  Life at our house has changed again. Benjamin, our oldest, took his trek across the northern part of the country to return to Bethel University to start football camp.  He is with the senior players on a retreat as I type.  My every heartbeat is a prayer for Ben as he starts this landmark year and makes life-affecting decisions.  Andy, our youngest just returned from Lake Placid, New York where he played in an FCA Lacrosse Tournament.  He knew no one going in and weathered the newness like a champ.  He returned home to discover that the beloved lacrosse coach at Eastern University will no longer be his coach when he moves into his dorm in two weeks to start his sophomore year.  Andy is really sad about Coach Child's resignation.  His dad and I are heartsick.  With every beat of my heart I pray for Andy as he presses into a new year with many more challenges than that of a new coach.

Mothers worry.  I'm not a worrier by nature but as Ben and Andy's mother I have fought the urge to worry.  I seem to keep loosing that fight in recent days. When worry knocks at my door, I have to reckon with that fact that life has served me a test.  A test I've confronted many times before.  A test of whether or not I will trust the Father once again with my most prized possession; my children. The question begs an answer in my heart-of-hearts .... will I trust God with what feels like one of life's sweetest treasures or is my trust in Him limited to something I give lip service to?  As in a praise and worship service?  In a conversation? On the pages of my journal?

The criterion of the worry test is I Peter 5:6,7  (Amplified Bible)
                                         
" ... humble yourself [demote,lower yourself in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you.  Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all of your worries, all of your concerns, once and for all] on Him,
for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully."

Worry is pride.  If I'm to humble myself as I throw the weight of my cares on Him then, worry is pride.  Trusting is humility.  Humility always leads back to the cross.  Trust follows. As I meditated on I Peter 5:6,7, the phrase, "on Him" got stuck in my heart ... "on Him" is also mentioned in Isaiah 53, smack in the middle of the prophetic verse about the coming Messiah ... 

" ... the chastisement [needful to obtain] PEACE and WELL BEING for us was upon Him ..."

Jesus was chastised so that I could live worry-free.  Be at peace.  Enjoy well-being in my emotions. It was part of His destiny. To hang on the cross that chastised Him for my peace and well-being.

Dr. Larry Hutton identifies worry as perverted imaginations.  We all imagine daily ... how the meeting will go, what we should say to her or to him, what others will be wearing or saying or doing at the next event we must attend, how the family member will take the news, what the outcome of this decision or that decision will be and on and on it goes.

Worry doesn't solve tomorrows problems.  Worry destroys today's gifts.  Worry misses God's watchful care.  Worry fails the test.  Trust imagines good things happening ... even in the worrisome.  Trust is believing what God imagines.  Trust rests in God's watchful care. Trust passes the test.


Andy warming up at Eastern
Ben playing for Bethel in the Final Four