The Untamed Jesus and the Heart of a Parent

Andy and Ben's Football Banquet 2008

Our pastor, Dan Nold, refers to Jesus as being untamed. The kind of man who is perhaps a bit less concerned about our comfort and a lot more concerned about our character.  Dan reminds us that Jesus might even make some people uncomfortable, maybe even me.  You see, Dan believes that Jesus would be radical in his passion and courageous in his convictions.  Undomesticated and wild and thus, Dan often refers to the Son of God as the Untamed Jesus.
 
Mark 12:41-44
"Sitting across from the offering box, Jesus was observing how the crowd tossed money in for the collection. Many of the rich were making large contributions. One poor widow came up and put in two small coins—a measly two cents. Jesus called his disciples over and said, "The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they'll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn't afford—she gave her all."

Although I’ve said goodbye to loved ones here on earth, I’ve never been a widow. I’ve weathered seasons when I thought the bills might go beyond the paycheck but I’ve never really been poor.  Not like the widow who caught the attention of Jesus in Mark 12.  I’m certain God could never “accuse” me of the generosity of heart this widow displayed. I have yet to give my all.  At first glance, it’s easy to conclude that what grabbed the heart of Jesus in this account was the widow’s willingness to give money even in her poverty.  However, I have to wonder if it was her expression of trust in Him that caused Jesus to take notice and thus, gave her the courage give her all?  She was extravagant in trusting God before she was extravagant in giving, keeping nothing for herself.  The Untamed Jesus presses us to risk giving that which we are tempted to keep for ourselves, that which we might miss if we gave. He presses us toward radical live-it-out-in-your-life kind of faith versus go-to-church-on-Sunday-morning kind of faith.  Safe faith. This same Untamed Jesus marks the heart of a Christ following parent with the same kind of radical risk and asks, “When others only go so far in their parenting, will you give up all rights and desires for your child and trust him/her to Me?” 

As a parent, I struggled with this risky question this summer when my Dad died rather suddenly after a very short, month-long bout with pancreatic cancer. Loss can make us want to hold those we love closer than ever before and, so it was with me.  In saying goodbye to Daddy on earth, the temptation to pull my children close; in proximity and in heart felt overwhelming.  As I struggled through this reality in my inner-being, the Holy Spirit began to bind up some old wounds with the healing salve of His Word.  I heard his whisper in my heart, “you have your eyes and attention on the wrong thing.”  The truth of Hebrews 12:1,2 began to set my heart free by asking me to give instead of keep for myself, not monetarily but relationally.  I heard the soothing yet challenging words, “Sherilyn, fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector (finisher) of not only your faith but of Ben’s faith and of Andy’s faith.”  I was reminded that the Untamed Jesus is writing my children’s story, I am not. (Absurd thought I know; such an over exaggeration of my own importance. Sigh.) God asked me to trust Him and once again give Him my most prized possession; my children. It felt like it would have been easier to write a big, fat check than to let go of my boys even more and trust them to God, letting Him put in and take out of their lives what He deems best in order to write their story and leave His mark on their heart and life.

So, as Ben hopped in his little Honda that was packed to the rafters, and headed back to Bethel to set-up his first apartment and start football camp, I offered him to the Lord; desiring to give extravagantly what I thought I couldn’t afford to give up, the writing of my son’s story by the Untamed Jesus.  And then a week later as his brother, Andy rushed from his freshman dorm room at Eastern University to join his new friends for dinner, I watched him hustle across the lush college campus he will now call home, and I offered him to the Lord as well; prayerfully giving with extravagance what I thought I couldn’t afford to give up, the writing of my son’s story by Jesus, the Untamed and Faithful One.  Neither was a first for me.  I have offered my children and their personal situations to the Lord over and over again for the last 21 years finding that each time more courage was deposited into my parent-heart to trust the Untamed Jesus more fully until I was able to give my all.